the basics of financial responsibility
valuing free time as a highly sensitive person in a capitalist system
Getting a university degree, working a full-time job, increasing your income, accumulating wealth and spending it on shiny objects is idealized in western culture. While this suits some people, as a highly sensitive person that needs a lot of free time, it will be very challenging for you to follow along this path.
If you keep finding yourself in jobs that feel unsafe, make you feel stressed or burnt you out, if you are scared of going to work, being burdened with financial responsibility can make you feel like a prisoner of capitalism, reaffirming the belief „money is hard to come by“. So, if your heart-based business isn’t supporting you financially at the moment, it may be time to heal your approach to financial responsibility.
Why You Find Yourself In The Same Drama Cycle
This part of the post will probably be hard for you to read. I'm sure you've heard about the victim triangle. In a victim triangle there’s a victim, a perpetrator and, to balance it out, the hero who saves the victim from the perpetrator. The perpetrator tends to be a circumstance or person outside of oneself, leaving the victim feeling fearful, hopeless, in survival mode, incapable of making decisions and in need of rescue. The situation feels so real that it’s sometimes hard for the victim to tell that they don’t require a hero to step in and save them. A victim triangle seldomly happens just once. It’s a repeating occurance in which the victim struggles to see the pattern.
Let’s apply this pattern to a highly sensitive person in an unhealthy work environment. The way these jobs (oftentimes when no university degree is required) are structured, leads to pain and suffering in the victim, making them hate making money (perpetrator) and leaving them wanting to escape the capitalist system or fantasizing of their own business finally supporting them financially (hero).
The Long-Term Costs Of Being the Victim Of Financial-Responsibility
In addition to the hero balancing out the triangle, there is always a payoff in these patterns. Believing that you are indeed a victim of a situation outside of yourself lets you bleed emotionally (emotional release) and affirms old ways of seeing the world (core beliefs like „earning money requires hard work“).
This payoff leads to your ego subconsciously deciding to have the same situation repeat itself, causing you to relive the same traumatic experience again and again. Why is that? The more energy you spend on these thoughts, the harder it is to let go of correctness of the feelings you are having: hopelessness, panic and fear. Although you try to escape the situation, you make similar decisions from the same set of beliefs and personal information.
How To Start Healing Your Relationship With Financial Freedom
While it’s hard to accept that you literally create the struggle of securing a stable financial income, it also means that you are capable of discovering a healthy approach to financial responsibility and ultimately, financial freedom. How? By regulating your nervous system and creating safety in the now - no matter where you are at in your healing journey - no matter what your outer circumstances are.
Now, while that sounds great and all, this is not a free pass for you to start „attracting“ richness without taking the required action steps. It just means that you'll decide to refrain from making decisions in a state of survival. You can come to learn that you are capable of securing a stable financial income to support your first years of heart-based business. And begin to heal the part of yourself that feels like a victim when „burdened“ with financial responsibility.
8 Action Steps To find jobs for highly sensitive people
I’ve created a list of practical steps to take and requirements to keep in mind that will help you attract a healthier work experience:
Cut and keep track of your expenses. Remember that recurring victim triangles are oftentimes your own responsibility. If you struggle with working 80% in a low-paid job, but like to spend a lot, you may need to rethink your priorities and have a look at the part that is forcing you to work a lot.
Introduce your interests and talents into the job hunt (e.g. if you love to be creative, look for a store that sells to creative people like art&craft stores). This way, you’ll be introduced to and in contact with people that are to some degree similar to you.
Put the people pleasing behavior aside and be honest - if it’s not a match for them, you’ll know right away (e.g. you can add in your personal values like authentic communication, mindfulness, etc.).
Don’t settle for jobs that are highly stressful. Have a second look at the job description. Do you need to perform a lot under pressure? If yes, then keep looking.
If you are a highly sensitive person that hasn’t had the best experiences with someone who likes to dominate and give orders, chances are you don’t get along with micromanagement. Be on the lookout for a job that requires you to work alone or some degree of personal responsibility for your tasks.
In job interviews, use your highly sensitive antenna and ask yourself if you feel comfortable and safe with the interviewer. Do you sense that they are open to constructive criticism and are open to take your needs into account? Or are they just looking for a space holder that fits the job description?
If you get a chance, talk to someone who is already working there for an honest review of the superior’s leading capabilities.
This last one is for those of you that are already working in a loud and stressful environment which requires you to be in touch with many customers. Consider talking to your team leader/superior and ask them for more calm shifts. Remember, your body will say no if you keep on pushing through. You can always reduce your percentage and look for another part-time job. It can be really refreshing to switch it up and combine two 20-40% jobs.
Let’s say you’ve found a job that suits your requirements, and this is very important. Speak your truth and express your needs! This way, you’ll prevent another reality in which you can’t be authentic and feel trapped as a result.
Face The Resistance To Changing Your Circumstances
There will be some resistance from that old set of values that are getting you stuck in the same situation. Following through on these steps won't necessarily feel good at first. If you are having thoughts like „I’d be such a failure if I would have a lot of free time“, „that would diminish my worth“, „what will others think of me?“ or "I'll be poor forever“, you have already internalized these judgements and made them your own. So take ownerships of this part that is working against your needs and keeping you stuck in this situation.
much love,
